"Every man is occasionally visited by the suspicion that the planet on which he is riding is not really going anywhere; that the force which controls its measured eccentricities hasn't anything in mind. If he broods upon this somber theme long enough he gets the doleful idea that the thin fine hands of a watch are revolving more purposefully than he is."
Yesterday I went to BelSquare looking for convertible pants. You know the type I wanted (They are what I call my "I want to be like Nate" pants, after a former student.) They have zippers around the legs and can be turned into shorts easily. They also have all kinds of pockets, something else I like a lot. I had a hard time finding them. Nordstrom didn't have them, where I got them before, etc. Eventually I found a small selection at Eddie Bauer. They were exactly what I wanted but were not large enough in the waist for me. Or so I thought. I decided to try one on, anyway. And guess what!! They fit!!! They are three inches slimmer than the pants I had to buy last year, so I have lost three inches around the waist. I have consciously been eating less, and I have had to add new holes in my belts, but this was an external confirmation. Amazing.
The only negative was when I bought a pair, I commented to the young man that their pants weren't made for more generously waisted people. He said, "I can't wear them either." "Why?" I asked. "Because I have a 28-inch waist, and they don't go that slim." I looked. Yup. Twenty-eight inch. All the air whizzed out of my balloon.
Twenty-eight inches. Please, just order my coffin, and make sure the bottom is heavy-duty.