June 16th, 2015

1804 - trudge, trudge, trudge

In a way things have calmed down somewhat. All the birthday and graduation activities are over, and all the people involved have returned to their lives, mostly. We have problems, though, in the romance of our g'daughter, as her boyfriend is here from Canada and seems unable to clarify for himself what he will be able to do, and she wants to be with him. I like him a lot but have no influence on him, and he seems to be cut loose from his family. At the same time our son is revisiting his periodic fantasies, which occupy our minds and time, though he remains his genial self. And he has an abscessed tooth that is coming out in a few days.

I feel oppressed and depressed. I don't see any way out of my dilemmas, at least for now, and my habit of plowing on seems at best to do no more than keep life at bay. I don't feel well, I have no actual friends, I have no pleasures that take me away, I am conscious of ageing and not liking it.